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Post by the one eyed man on Nov 5, 2015 22:40:29 GMT
Half of the answer will be revealed later this evening and the other half tomorrow. I know. You can't wait. Swindon has never been so exciting. And neither has this forum.
The ego has landed. You can see why the celebs always make a dash for him and not the Ferrero Rochet now when they are at the Cannes Film Festival. I can't wait for when OME returns from his next family holiday and invites us all round to his mansion to see his holiday photographs (expected duration, 3 hours, 45 minutes) coupled with a relentless monologue of celebrities that he's no doubt harassed and a cornucopia of strangers he's bored with his stories. Is there no end to his egotistical, rambling onslaught?
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Post by oldmeadowender on Nov 5, 2015 22:46:30 GMT
You're no fun, one-eye.
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Post by the one eyed man on Nov 5, 2015 23:01:20 GMT
Whereas non stop boasting is hilarious.
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Post by oldmeadowender on Nov 5, 2015 23:09:43 GMT
So saying you've been to Swindon is boasting. O. M. G.
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Post by oldmeadowender on Nov 5, 2015 23:11:51 GMT
You can see why the celebs always make a dash for him and not the Ferrero Rochet now when they are at the Cannes Film Festival. I can't wait for when OME returns from his next family holiday and invites us all round to his mansion to see his holiday photographs (expected duration, 3 hours, 45 minutes) coupled with a relentless monologue of celebrities that he's no doubt harassed and a cornucopia of strangers he's bored with his stories. Is there no end to his egotistical, rambling onslaught? Irony, anyone?
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Post by the one eyed man on Nov 5, 2015 23:16:30 GMT
So saying you've been to Swindon is boasting. O. M. G. The way you tell it it is..........
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Post by the one eyed man on Nov 5, 2015 23:18:16 GMT
I can't wait for when OME returns from his next family holiday and invites us all round to his mansion to see his holiday photographs (expected duration, 3 hours, 45 minutes) coupled with a relentless monologue of celebrities that he's no doubt harassed and a cornucopia of strangers he's bored with his stories. Is there no end to his egotistical, rambling onslaught? Irony, anyone? Yes, two shirts and a pair of trousers.
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Post by oldmeadowender on Nov 5, 2015 23:18:12 GMT
So saying you've been to Swindon is boasting. O. M. G. The way you tell it it is.......... Just for you...I'll boast about it tomorrow.
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Post by the one eyed man on Nov 5, 2015 23:24:12 GMT
Why waste time, crack on and bore us all tonight; tales about your free dive to the bottom of the Marianas Trench can wait until tomorrow.
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Post by oldmeadowender on Nov 5, 2015 23:32:11 GMT
I think you have been on the sauce and it might be time for a nice glass of water and a good kip.
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Post by the one eyed man on Nov 5, 2015 23:49:27 GMT
I think you have been on the sauce and it might be time for a nice glass of water and a good kip. Pathetic! The reeling drunkard posting what he should be doing to a teetotaler! Is kip some sort of narcotic?
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Post by oldmeadowender on Nov 5, 2015 23:57:27 GMT
You're just jealous because I've been to Swindon and you haven't. And if this is how you are teetotal, I strongly suggest you have a drink and calm down, dear.
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Post by the one eyed man on Nov 6, 2015 0:04:28 GMT
You're just jealous because I've been to Swindon and you haven't. And if this is how you are teetotal, I strongly suggest you have a drink and calm down, dear. Post of the week; witty and intelligent, with resonance and insight from an experienced class 'A' poster.
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Post by oldmeadowender on Nov 6, 2015 5:20:07 GMT
To be fair she's a bit younger than David Frost. Her system could take a bit of banter. And they get so bored that any kind of distraction is welcome. She even smiled a few times...honest!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2015 5:33:40 GMT
Admin: Before I start I just need to warn you that I have had my anti malaria style Anti Ban Tablet.
When we make a movie about this place can we call it "The Life of Ryan", with a spin off TV series "Only Pools and Corpses".
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Post by singe on Nov 6, 2015 5:39:58 GMT
I think she might have been laughing at you, not with you. Can't believe I've just read this thread all the way through.
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Post by oldmeadowender on Nov 6, 2015 5:41:33 GMT
So...by popular request and because one-eye was such a fan that he couldn't wait... The second, and only other place to have fun in Swindon is... THE CINEMA IN THE RETAIL PARK! Yes, hours of fun to be had there, especially if you go to see Hotel Transylvania 2, not least because it reminded me of a couple of characters on here, who would have fitted into the movie just great. It would have been comforting to report that Franky and Benny's next to the cinema was a third fun place in Swindon, but unfortunately this wasn't the case for me. Why did they have photos of some of my old personal friends on the walls, without personally autographed messages? What were they trying to prove? They were also constantly trying to sell us doe balls (what are they?) and garlic pizza, persuade us that we needed more drinks when we had drinks already, and served me the chewiest steak in world history. We still almost had a great time, though, because it was Swindon. And the steak was no problem because I spat the last unchewable bit out by winding the window down on the way back onto the A419. As most people do, right? Anyway, that's Swindon for you. Did anyone guess correctly?
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Post by oldmeadowender on Nov 6, 2015 5:42:36 GMT
I think she might have been laughing at you, not with you. Can't believe I've just read this thread all the way through. Funnily enough, Little Meadow said something similar. Perceptive lad.
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Post by oldmeadowender on Nov 6, 2015 5:53:32 GMT
Funnily enough, Barrymore is also alleged to have killed the mackerel I left on top of the waves at Swindon Oasis.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2015 6:27:44 GMT
What we have seen here is the difference between Fantasy and Reality.
FANTASY: Doing Tequila Slammers with Elvis in the Casino at Monaco.
REALITY: Going to some tired swimming pool with your kid in a town that was designed by architects that had been downing tequila slammers with Elvis, topped off with a trip to the most boil in the bag of all the foodie chains.
The good news is the said kid is rapidly approaching the age where he would rather be sick than be seen out with his folks - so there is some comfort to be gained there.
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